perfectionism. forgiveness. moving on.

[jenk]

Yesterday a conversation touched briefly on perfectionism: how being hyperaware of one's faults can hamstring all action.

Today I noticed a book I haven't looked at in years. And I found the following piece:

Forgive
You did the best you could with who you were and what you knew at the time. As soon as you learned something better, you did that.

So why can't you forgive yourself and others for past mistakes?

For some people, punishment is not enough, atonement insufficient, retribution never satisfying. They wallow in guilt. They refuse to forgive themselves or others. They lose the future because they are trapped in the past.

Search out the painful mistakes in your past and prepare a certificate of forgiveness, complete with a gold seal for each one.

Maybe you'll give one to an adult child:

"I did the best I could... I wasn't a perfect parent... Here's a blanket apology... Let's end the criticism."

Give one to your spouse to end some past recrimination.

Give one to yourself: "I'm not perfect.... I made a mistake..."

Create your certificates, forgive yourself. Then, sit down, relax, breathe deeply.

Let go of the guilt, let go of the past, breathe in the present and stay open to your future.

~ From Windows, by Jennifer James.