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jenkRoy & I were chatting today. To make a point, he referenced what he claims is a stereotype; if it is, I hadn't heard before.
"Suppose you meet an attractive, witty, charming guy in the supermarket. Turns out he's a priest. You'd be surprised, right?" Fundie-turned-Episcopalian me associates "priest" with Linda, Robert, Herb, Anne, Janet, Peter, and other priests I've met at church and say "No, I wouldn't". Roy decides I'm lying. I ask why he thinks I'm lying. He repeats that I'm lying and that he will end the conversation unless I admit it.
Shades of The Crucible - only I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.
I ask why he thinks I'm lying, and he hangs up.
So I breathe a bit and call back, get the answering machine. "Roy, it's Jen. I'd like to know what's up with you. Bye."
And I breathe a bit more and decide to call and say, "Look, *your* pastor may be an asshole, but the priests at *my* church are witty and charming." Only when I call, he picks up.
Okay. I deliver my message anyway. I hear deep breathing. Roy says that my personal experiences do not mean the stereotype about priests doesn't exist and that I should stop denying it. I ask, "WHAT STEREOTYPE?"
So he starts blathering about a "well-known" stereotype that I should have recognized and that "98% of people" would have recognized. I wanted to scream, "What is this, a conversation or a cultural literacy class? If you have a point to make then make it already!!!"
But I don't. Because Roy also told me that he felt I hadn't heard him, hadn't wanted to hear him, had deliberately chosen to feign ignorance rather than hear him. So I kept silent and listened. I focused on hearing him.
I hope it helped him.
(Btw, feel free to comment if you get/don't get this stereotype.)
"Suppose you meet an attractive, witty, charming guy in the supermarket. Turns out he's a priest. You'd be surprised, right?" Fundie-turned-Episcopalian me associates "priest" with Linda, Robert, Herb, Anne, Janet, Peter, and other priests I've met at church and say "No, I wouldn't". Roy decides I'm lying. I ask why he thinks I'm lying. He repeats that I'm lying and that he will end the conversation unless I admit it.
Shades of The Crucible - only I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.
I ask why he thinks I'm lying, and he hangs up.
So I breathe a bit and call back, get the answering machine. "Roy, it's Jen. I'd like to know what's up with you. Bye."
And I breathe a bit more and decide to call and say, "Look, *your* pastor may be an asshole, but the priests at *my* church are witty and charming." Only when I call, he picks up.
Okay. I deliver my message anyway. I hear deep breathing. Roy says that my personal experiences do not mean the stereotype about priests doesn't exist and that I should stop denying it. I ask, "WHAT STEREOTYPE?"
So he starts blathering about a "well-known" stereotype that I should have recognized and that "98% of people" would have recognized. I wanted to scream, "What is this, a conversation or a cultural literacy class? If you have a point to make then make it already!!!"
But I don't. Because Roy also told me that he felt I hadn't heard him, hadn't wanted to hear him, had deliberately chosen to feign ignorance rather than hear him. So I kept silent and listened. I focused on hearing him.
I hope it helped him.
(Btw, feel free to comment if you get/don't get this stereotype.)
