Writing, take 3
Oct. 2nd, 2002 02:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jenkI've wanted to be a writer since I was small. I didn't pursue it because I was told it wasn't practical, it wouldn't pay the mortgage, and who would want to read anything I wrote anyway?
I want to write. I want to create other worlds that people can come visit. Worlds that reflect life the way I know it and life the way I'd like it to be.
I fear writing because, well, I fear. I'm human! I fear change, I fear being different, I fear that if I'm not wearing a mask that society likes and approves of then something terribly terribly bad will happen. I also feel guilt and shame about writing.
These feelings don't change the fact that I want to write or that I can choose to write. They just make writing feel really bad. They make it real easy for me to find excuses for not writing, and to blame other people for me not writing.
But, I don't have to be mastered by my emotions. They aren't stopping me -- unless I let them stop me. Nothing can stop me from being a writer, except myself.
In the end, it's what I want (and what I think I actually need to be happy with myself) vs my fears.
I want to write. I want to create other worlds that people can come visit. Worlds that reflect life the way I know it and life the way I'd like it to be.
I fear writing because, well, I fear. I'm human! I fear change, I fear being different, I fear that if I'm not wearing a mask that society likes and approves of then something terribly terribly bad will happen. I also feel guilt and shame about writing.
These feelings don't change the fact that I want to write or that I can choose to write. They just make writing feel really bad. They make it real easy for me to find excuses for not writing, and to blame other people for me not writing.
But, I don't have to be mastered by my emotions. They aren't stopping me -- unless I let them stop me. Nothing can stop me from being a writer, except myself.
In the end, it's what I want (and what I think I actually need to be happy with myself) vs my fears.
