Don't rape meme
Dec. 6th, 2005 03:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jenkI agree that rape is a crime. I agree with much of what is said in the meme in question; in particular, absence of dissent is not assent. I do wonder why it lacks "Just because he's the new guy on the cellblock, don't rape him." Some friends have said some pretty smart things about it in their LJs.
There is one line, however, that I disagree with:
don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
I know people say that by
This is nothing wrong with making it harder for predators to succeed.
This does not it mean that assault can always be prevented.
This does not mean that rape is the victim's fault.
This doesn't mean American society is okay or that American society cannot become less violent.
It means that taking action is more productive than waiting for the change to happen.
I also think that if more men followed these sorts of guidelines then the overall rate of violent crime would go down. Not that assault is the same as rape. But someone who has committed assault feels more competent at being violent - and so loses one more barrier to being violent again. If you look at crime statistics, the number of assaults and aggravated assaults reported are several thousand times higher than the number of rapes. And who are the most likely victims of assault, especially assault by non-intimates? Men. Partly because men, overall, are less cautious.
Caution is not bad. Yeah, you can take fear overboard. And there have been times that I should have been more cautious and wasn't. Currently I'm reading The Gift of Fear, which focuses on separating real from imagined danger - and not being afraid to act.
There is one line, however, that I disagree with:
don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
I know people say that by
- Being aware of what's going on around me
- Walking like I know where I'm going
- Being aware of exits
- Setting & enforcing boundaries
- Leaving if things don't feel safe (and having the emergency funds necessary)
- Avoiding drunk people unless I know them *very* well
- Not getting drunk unless I am with people I *trust* to back me up
- Not letting myself be alone with people I don't know well
- Not accepting rides from people I don't know
This does not it mean that assault can always be prevented.
This does not mean that rape is the victim's fault.
This doesn't mean American society is okay or that American society cannot become less violent.
It means that taking action is more productive than waiting for the change to happen.
I also think that if more men followed these sorts of guidelines then the overall rate of violent crime would go down. Not that assault is the same as rape. But someone who has committed assault feels more competent at being violent - and so loses one more barrier to being violent again. If you look at crime statistics, the number of assaults and aggravated assaults reported are several thousand times higher than the number of rapes. And who are the most likely victims of assault, especially assault by non-intimates? Men. Partly because men, overall, are less cautious.
Caution is not bad. Yeah, you can take fear overboard. And there have been times that I should have been more cautious and wasn't. Currently I'm reading The Gift of Fear, which focuses on separating real from imagined danger - and not being afraid to act.
