jenk

This article on emotional intelligence (EQ) grabbed my attention:

You probably overestimate your emotional intelligence. Most of us do. You could get into real trouble when your EQ is extremely low — like posting naked photos of yourself [...] Most of us are not doing insanely stupid things. We are just doing a series of smaller EQ mistakes day after day.

At some point, if your EQ is too low, you will hit a wall. Most people notice the wall when they can’t get a job, because today, the job hunts that are most successful are based on networking skills — in other words, EQ. But here are other areas of the workplace that are becoming more and more important. And success in each of these three areas depends heavily on EQ.

Some tips from the same writer on making social stuff work for you:

Benefits of being a partial chameleon

Think hard about how you approach a group. Do you hope that the group conforms to you or do you conform to the group? As long as you respect the people in the group, conforming to them enough to form a bond is not a bad idea. [...] But you can find pieces of yourself that match up with just about everyone, if you are in-tune with yourself and other people.

5 ways to be better at office politics:

Don’t try to change or resist company culture including dress, communication styles and office hours. Being different does not work.
Practice self-awareness. This is a life-long task and every day you can become a little bit more aware of how people perceive you. Just doing your job is not enough. You need to do it in a way that makes a positive impression on everyone else.
Manage your stress levels so you can avoid emotional displays of inconsistent behavior and inconsistent messages. Most emotional outbursts come from unmanaged stress.
Be approachable all the time – in your cube, in the hallway, even in the bathroom.
Network before you need to network. Being good at politics means that you are good at relationship building, and you can count on a wide range of people when you need them.

What do these things have in common? Well, besides enough self-discipline to carry them out? I would say it's about providing a consistent experience for your coworkers. Yes, even #1 - if you really can't operate the way they do, then you probably need to find a new job.

Being likeable is a big part of office politics.

Most of us have to work at being likeable. Fortunately, [research] shows that the biggest impediment to likeability is not caring. So if you “just decide you want to do better,” you probably will.

Why is this important?

[P]eople judge your work skills as incompetent if you are not likeable — no matter what your work skills are. It may not be fair, but it’s what people do.

If people enjoy interacting with you, that will color the rest of the transaction. Plus, if you enjoy the interaction, that's a bit of enjoyment to your day you otherwise might not have had.